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sparr

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Consent violation accusation [Jun. 29th, 2016|12:22 pm]
sparr
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I've just heard third-hand, through a grapevine comprised of at-least-mostly bay area people, that "someone has complained ... that you were insufficiently respectful of sexual consent boundaries", and this is resulting in me not being welcome in some spaces at an event.

I don't know who is accusing me. I don't know what they are saying I did. I don't know when or where it happened.

I don't know how much of a game of telephone is going on here. Is this another case of someone labeling me "rapist" based solely on conversations about consent, as happened a couple of times in Boston, and then someone else taking that label at face value?

I've been sexually intimate with four people on the west coast since moving here. Two of them I am still dating and fucking (intermittently), and both seem quite happy to seek out my company. The third asked for a demo of a fucking machine at Dark Odyssey Surrender, and seemed to enjoy the experience and leave happy; I don't know her name and have no idea how to contact her to apologize. The fourth seemed the most likely source of the rumor, since she ended our sexual relationship, so I sent her an attempt at an apology. She coaxed the story from me and explicitly denied it.

If this accusation is following me from my road trip, or Chicago, or Boston, or Atlanta, then I am at a complete loss for how to proceed.

Help?
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: kdsorceress
2016-06-30 03:16 pm (UTC)
I don't know love.

I probably know even less of who than you do. I've *never* had a problem with you and consent, and I *have* been violated in the past by other people so no I'm not just confused, and I'd be happy to explain that to anyone who wants to listen, but no one seems to feel the need to warn your current partners of this. :P

I wish you the love and strength and support I can. Good luck.

~Kat
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